


Call It What You Want.

by McSatan



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn, Songfic, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McSatan/pseuds/McSatan
Summary: Addison doesn't go to LA, instead she stays and falls for someone unexpected.
Relationships: Teddy Altman/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Call It What You Want.

**Author's Note:**

> Bi icons, Don't fight me on this. Short first chapter but a cute coming out moment. Stay for the upcoming drama.

[Honey when I'm above the trees, I see this for what it is. But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given is just shit we're dividin' up. showed you all of my hiding spots, I was dancing when the music stopped. And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention. I haven't met the new me yet.]

"I know that look."

Addison was pulled from her thoughts by an unexpected voice. She looked up from her drink and forced a smile at her ex-husband. She wasn't exactly in the mood for company but wasn't going to turn it away.

"And what might that look be?"

Derek flashed Joe a smile and a nod, not needing to say more to indicate his drink order. Joe poured him a scotch as he sat down next to the redhead.

"What's wrong Addie?"

"It's nothing Derek."

"You're hurting. Talk to me."

"Derek, we're divorced."

"So? We can still be friends."

"It's weird."

"I'm a good friend Addie, let me be your friend." 

Derek flashed Addison one of his big cheesy grins and she caved. She gave him a look, suspicious of whether opening up to her ex-husband was a good idea but decided against her better judgment that she would try. She took a deep breath, voiding eye contact with him as she began to talk.

"I've been....seeing someone. Someone that's not my usual type...'

"And that's bad?"

"No, it's not bad..it's just..different."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is I don't know who I am anymore. I have meaningless sex with Mark, and then I try to make it work with Mark and I sleep with Alex Karev. Who does that?! What kind of person does that?! But then theres this other person and its just...different. Everything is different."

"You slept with Alex Karev?!"

"Derek!" Addison whined.

"Right, sorry. Different how?"

"Different like..." Addison took a large sip from her drink and hesitated for a moment before continuing. "You once said that Meredith was like coming up for air. I was crushed and heart broken. I couldn't understand how being married to be would make you feel so suffocated. After that I just felt lost...and unworthy. And it was like every time I fix myself, I would make things worse and get lost again. But when I'm with her...I get it, I get what you meant, that feeling of coming up for air. Things are different because...they feel right and I'm fixed. This person fixed me."

"And you're afraid of people knowing that you're in love with Teddy?"

Addison looks up at Derek in shock.

[There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true, there is happiness. Past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries. Beyond the terror in the nightfall, haunted by the look in my eyes, that would've love you for a life time Leave it all behind, there is happiness.]

"Its not....I'm not...it's not.." Addison struggled to deny the truth. She was never a good liar, especially to Derek. He knew her too well. But she wasn't ready to admit the truth, at least not out loud...and to others.

"I've seen that sparkle in your eye when you're in love, the look you give them. I used to get that look...I know that look. And that is the look you give Teddy."

Addison look a deep breathe to hold herself together, but remained silent. She knew better then to argue, Derek knew her too well. And deep down, she knew he was right.

"What I don't know is why you're afraid, why does this part of you rattle you so much."

"Its not...its not the girl thing! I mean, it's kinda the girl thing since I was married to a man for so long, and up until now I've only been with men but I'm not...ashamed or anything like that."

"So what is it Addison?"

"Its..the...the divorce thing." Addison said softly, looking down at her drink.

Derek studied her face. He could tell Addison was embarrassed by her honesty. They had both known that their marriage was over and that signing the papers was the right decision, but he had no idea that it had effected Addison so deeply. Opening up hadn't always the easiest thing for her, but it had never made her this nervous.

"The divorce thing? You can't be in love again because you're divorce?"

"Okay, stop saying in love." Addison snapped before finishing her drink in one big gulp, then motioning Joe for another.

Derek softly chuckles. "Addie, it's okay for you to be in love, you're allowed to be in love."

"No, I'm not."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm divorced. And a mess. I'm a divorced messed. And I don't even know what Teddy and I are. We're not in a relationship, but it feels more then casual. Its just this weird situation, its a situationship."

"A situationship?"

"A situationship."

"Addison. Don't you think you're being alittle irrational?"

Addison took a deep breath and didn't answer. Neither of them needed her to, they both knew the answer. Which was yes. She was being irrational, and over reacting. But she was scared. She had something to lose now, something she didn't want to lose. And right after she already lost. 

[Tell me when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? I hope she'll be your beautiful fool, who takes my spot next to you. No I didn't mean that, sorry I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet.]

"We were happy right? I made you happy...once..."

Derek smiled sadly at her. He placed his hand on her and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

"We were happy, you made me really happy."

"Until I didn't."

"Addison..."

"I know I ruined things when I slept with Mark. I know. But you were unhappy before that. You stopped being happy with me."

"Addison. Look at me."

She hesitated for a brief moment, then gave his hand a gentle squeeze before looking up and letting their eyes meet. 

"You cannot let our past ruin your future. We didn't work, but that doesn't mean its the end for you. Maybe we didn't work out for a reason, maybe we didn't work out because we had bigger things waiting for us, different things."

Addison softly chuckle. "Are you calling it fate?"

"Call it what you want to, this is a good thing Addison, allow yourself to have good things."

Addison smiled, her cheeks blushing a shade of pink as she allowed Derek's words to sink in. 

"Teddy is a good thing right?" 

She nodded. "Teddy is a good thing."

"You had happiness with me, but you'll have happiness after me. " 

Addison smiled, look at Derek with tears forming in her eyes. He wasn't sure if they were sad tears or happy ones, he assumed both. 

"I don't want to mess things up with her..."

"Don't sleep with her best friend and you'll be good."

Addison shot him a glare. She never liked when Derek made comments about her and Mark, but she did kind of set herself up for a comment like that. Derek nudge her arm gently with his elbow and chuckled, letting her know he was just teasing her. Addison's expression softened and she chuckled as well. Derek was right, he was a good friend.

"Can I ask you something?"

They both finished their drinks and Addison nodded in response to Derek.

"When did it start? Your...situationship with Teddy."

"A couple months ago. We had too much to drink and one thing lead to another. Then it just started happening every time we drank...until it wasn't just when we drank. We just fell into this thing and I.."

"fell in love with her?"

"Yeah...I fell in love with her."

[There'll be happiness after me, but there was happiness because of me. Both of these things I believe, there is happiness. In our history, across the great divide, this is a glorious sunrise. Dappled with the flickers of light, from the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind. And there is happiness.]


End file.
